


Four Weddings (Hopefully No Funeral)

by irishcookie



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Pre-Established Relationship, no set timeline
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-09
Updated: 2016-05-09
Packaged: 2018-06-07 06:49:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,296
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6791947
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/irishcookie/pseuds/irishcookie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Inspired by a prompt from usedkarma on tumblr: Darcy and Steve try to get married but something comes up.  Ditto on their second and third attempts.  By the time attempt number four rolls around, Steve is ready for desperate measures.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Four Weddings (Hopefully No Funeral)

**Author's Note:**

> So I have never actually written a Darcy Lewis fic before despite loving her to pieces and despite reading tons of it. However I was inspired by a tumblr prompt AND high on CA:CW fumes so I decided to go for it. Hopefully it works!

The first time they try to get married one of Hydra’s many heads rears up.

Darcy is fussing with her dress (it’s simple, no _poof_ yet she can’t stop fiddling with its edges) when Jane spills into the room, a wild look on her face. Darcy turns, an eyebrow raised. She is not stupid; she is just good at playing like she is when Nick Fury is breathing down her neck. “What is going on?” 

“Hydra,” Janes says and then winces (probably because she has seen Darcy’s version of Bridezilla). “They’ve called in the Avengers.” 

“ _Now?!_ ” Darcy’s voice is far too high and far too loud. “Hydra can go suck it. This is my wedding day. I’m getting married.” 

Only she’s not and she knows it already. 

She takes a deep breath, feeling Jane’s hand on her shoulder. Her fingers are playing with the fabric of her dress again as she moves past her friend. A minute later she is down the hall and pulling open a door without bothering to knock. Bucky Barnes is the first to see her. He is tugging at his tie and his jacket is already on the floor. His eyes widen and he slaps Steve on the shoulder. “Bride!” 

She doesn’t get a glimpse of Steve’s face (which means he probably doesn’t get an eyeful of her in her dress) before he bolts up from a seated position and faces the wall. She steps into the room. “You have to go?” She asks, too worked up to find it amusing that she is having this conversation with Steve’s rather broad back. 

“Darcy…” His voice says it all. 

She slumps a little and is glad that Bucky is the only one to see how dejected she looks. Steve is too soft hearted when she pouts; she knows this and she takes full advantage. “I get it. Save the world. It’s kind of your job…” Still, she can stop herself from moving forward and wrapping her arms around Steve’s midsection. She turns her head and presses her cheek to his back. Her eyes are on Bucky. “You make sure he doesn’t get hurt.” 

“I’ll bring him back in one piece, doll,” Bucky promises. 

“Good.” 

Steve runs his hands down her arms. “I want to marry you.” 

“I don’t doubt it,” Darcy assures him. She pauses. “ _Fucking_ Hydra.” 

Steve’s entire body stiffens and Bucky turns his head to cough (she can see his amused smile no matter how hard he tries to hide it). She blinks. 

“Right --- we’re in a church.” 

**X**

The second time they try to get married Clint (still drunk from the bachelor party he had insisted on _re-throwing_ for Steve) accidentally pisses off Bruce and things get a little green. 

The less said about the entire incident the better. 

**X**

The third time Tony insists on paying. 

Darcy suspects that he feels guilty about the whole Bruce debacle. He takes his job as Hulk wrangler very seriously. To appease his conscience and because he claims Darcy is his equal in the ability to piss off the ‘one eyed bastard’, Tony goes all out. 

They get a fancy venue, a string quartet, a gourmet menu and she gets a new dress. 

It’s worth three times her original dress but thankfully she has avoided the _poof_ once more (Pepper had insisted she try on one full skirted dress but quickly relented when Darcy announced she felt like a very murderous cupcake in it). She doesn’t play with it like she did with the other one. Instead she is waiting for the other shoe to drop. 

“Come one, Darcy --- third times the charm right?” Jane insists as she fixes one of Darcy’s hair clips. 

“Third times a disaster in the making,” Darcy retorts. She chews on her lip. “Where’s Bruce?” 

“Far away from Clint,” Jane promises. 

“Did you hear any chatter about possible missions?” Darcy asks next. 

Jane shakes her head. “ _Nothing_ is going to happen.” 

Darcy only has to wait another twenty minutes to prove her friend a liar. 

She has made it down the aisle and has her hands in Steve’s. He is smiling (it looks so much like the smile he had been wearing when she realized she loved him). He gives her hands a squeeze and for a moment she forgets her premonition. 

Then the priest lurches forward and her brand new dress is covered in the contents of his stomach. 

She doesn’t move for a moment, hardly able to wrap her mind around what has just happened. She has expected _something_ but not this. She waits all of a second longer and then she is looking for the nearest exit. Steve is fast on her heels. 

“Help me get this off!” Darcy says, her hands frantically reaching for the zipper. His hands are much steadier than hers and she steps out of the dress before she has even cleared the ballroom. Steve is shrugging out of his coat and catches up with her to wrap it around her shoulders. 

He manages to hold her steady before she bolts out the door and into midday traffic. His hands move slowly up and down her arms. “It’s just a little set back. We can get someone else to perform the ceremony.” 

“Where are we going to find a priest? It’s _peak wedding season_!” Darcy states as if he should know this already. 

Jane has caught up to them and Bucky is close on her heels. “You can get ordained online. It would only take a half an hour or so. I can do it. Or…maybe like...Pepper?” 

Darcy presses her lips together and shakes her head. _Defeat_ \--- not an easy thing for someone like her to wrap her head around. Still, she has. “No.” She can feel her bottom lip quiver and she hates that. She is a messy crier and she already has vomit on her leg. She does not want snot on her face. She looks up at Steve. “Take me home. _Please_.” 

He doesn’t even try to argue with her. 

**X**

There is no talk of a fourth attempt. 

Okay there is --- but only in a roundabout way. 

They are on the couch, her head on his shoulder and her arm thrown around his waist. His fingers play in her hair. She feels peaceful (for the first time in weeks). “This is okay, right? We’re not married but we still love one another. This is enough. We don’t need anything more…” 

Steve’s jaw hardens but Darcy misses it. If she had seen it she would realized he does not agree with her. She turns her head and presses her lips to his neck. “I’m going to put on the _something special_ I had saved up for the big night. Give me five minutes and then follow?” 

He smiles and kisses her forehead. “You got it, sweetheart.” 

While she hops around to get herself into something tight and terribly see through, Steve makes two phone calls. She doesn’t hear them. She is too busy trying to pose in an alluring position while maintaining blood flow to all her extremities. 

**X**

Darcy goes back to work two days after her latest failed marriage attempt. Jane is up to her ears in data and blissfully does not even say anything marriage related. It feels good to be back in her routine. She even manages to prod both Tony and Bruce into actually eating. 

_This is enough_. 

By midday, she is stuffing a muffin in her mouth (because it would be hypocritical of her to insist the scientists eat while she doesn’t). She has plans to talk Jane into actually going outside for some fresh air when JARVIS politely requests her presence on the quinjet launch pad. 

Surprisingly enough this is not the first time this has happened. 

“Please don’t tell me that Tony is trying to fly that thing again. He hasn’t slept in like forty-seven hours.” She abandons her muffin and wastes no time moving through the facility. She has her best _stern Darcy_ voice on as she nears the jet and not surprisingly has to yell over the hum of the engines. “TONY STARK I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL HANDCUFF YOU TO THE NEAREST AVAILABLE SURFACE IF YOU EVEN TRY TO TAKE OFF…” 

“Don’t say things like that. He’d find it kinky,” Jane states as she emerges from the ramp of the jet. She has a grin on her face and she holds out her hand. “Come one. We’ve probably got like…two more minutes before we’re found out.” 

Darcy comes to a stop and tilts her head. There is something so wrong about this picture. When she feels a gentle push from behind, she lets out a yelp and turns her head to find Bucky standing there. “Get on the jet, Darcy.” 

She manages to put one foot in front of the other and with one final nudge from Bucky finds herself on-board the quinjet. Steve is at the controls. She bypasses Jane and moves to sit down as close as she can get to him. 

“Strap in,” he advises. 

“Steve,” she begins. “What are you doing?” 

“Getting us married,” he tells her. 

A now familiar panic stars building in her chest. “ _Steve_ …” 

He turns in the pilot seat, his eyes warm. “Trust me, Darcy.” 

She straps herself in. 

**X**

She is back in her original dress (the one Steve has yet to see her in by some small act of mercy). 

Jane had gotten her hands on it without her knowing. This time Darcy doesn’t pull at it. She simply smooths her hands down the front of it and reminds herself she trusts Steve more than anyone else she knows. 

The church is small --- and _old_. The boards creak when she steps into the doorway. She has a brief vision of her plunging all the way through but it goes away when she sees the way Steve looks at her --- _as if she is unlike anything he has ever seen before_. She takes a deep breath, smiles at Jane and then moves toward him. This time she squeezes his hands. A small gesture to let him know that he has done the right thing. He smiles and brings one hand up to kiss the palm of it. 

Their vows are simple. Traditional because Steve wanted it that way --- though she does manage to sneak in a promise to polish his shield after battle which earns them a rather dubious look from the man conducting the ceremony. Still, everything goes just as it should. The rings fit snugly on their fingers and the roof does not fall on their heads the moment they are pronounced husband and wife. 

Darcy grins as Steve pulls her in for a kiss. She lets go of weeks of disappoint and winds her arms around him to make sure it is a good one. When they finally come up for air (mostly because Bucky is clearing his throat), Steve angles his head near her ear. “My shield huh?” 

“Something like that,” she tells him with a wink. 

They move down the aisle hand in hand with Bucky and Jane trailing behind. When they open the doors of the church they are greeted with the sight of Tony Stark and the rest of the gang filling up the parking lot. 

“You stole the jet,” Tony remarks. “Captain America stole the jet.” 

“ --- it was a necessary…” 

Tony throws up a hand. “That’s what backup jets are for. I am more miffed that we weren’t invited to the ceremony.” 

Darcy eyes her friends and she can see that Tony is not the only one who is currently unhappy. She glances up at Steve, who snakes an arm around her waist. Then she surveys the crowd again. “There’s always the reception?” 

Tony breaks into a grin. “Best part anyway.” 

**X**

They take over a little bar down the road. It’s kind of kitschy but Darcy likes it like that. In fact she is quite sure before the night is over she’ll be wearing the Viking helmet perched above the entrance to the washroom. Tony starts a tab (but gives Clint a three drink maximum). Jane disappears for ten minutes and returns with a box of Twinkies from a nearby gas station. At first Darcy is confused but then she is gleefully smooshing one in Steve’s face to a thunderous response. 

Someone manages to find a half decent slow song among the meager selection so she and Steve can dance. She fits snugly against him, her head on his chest. She can feel the steadiness of his heart beat against her cheek. “So, hijacking a S.H.I.E.L.D. jet just to get us married in some middle of nowhere town, huh?” 

Steve looks down at her. “Look, Darcy, if this…if you want something different I’ll do it. I’d marry you anywhere, anytime --- you just tell me.” 

She tilts her head and raises a brow. “Are you crazy? _After everything_? Steve, this isn’t what we planned. Any of those times…” Water under the bridge or a really funny story to tell the grandkids someday. “But we’re married and I got to wear my dress…” 

“It’s a beautiful dress,” Steve cuts in. 

“Damn right, no _poof_ ,” she agrees but then gets back to her original train of thought. “We have some really stellar Twinkies, a song even you know the lyrics to and our friends. Steve, this is perfect.” 

He chuckles and dips his head. “I love you, Mrs. Rogers.” 

“So much so that you’ll steal a jet,” Darcy chimes in. 

“You’re never letting me live that down, huh?” 

“No.” 

Instead of letting her get another jab in, Steve kisses her instead.


End file.
